As promised Scotts letter to Kim

I am Scott Gwaltney, Kims older brother. I wanted to say something today to honor my sister and her life, but for those of you who know me, know I am a little bit of a crier and I would never make it through this. First of all I want to say this is the hardest thing I have had to do in my 31 years of life and that’s why I am having my uncle Mike read this to you. I was the first born and had it pretty good, I mean mom and dad gave up a couple of horses for me and I thought I was pretty special but then 16 months later the moment you arrived I knew it was all over for me. How couldn’t it be you were so cute. But remember everybody thought we were twins. Growing up, sure we got into our fair share of fights and got punished for them, the duck tape over the mouth which I think is illegal in 9 countries and 37 states including Arizona comes to mind. Im still mad at mom dad for that one. We can actually thank them for our big lips because the swelling never went down. Remember all the games we use to play. We would play the card game war. We would play Mario brothers on Nintendo and when mom and dad weren’t home you would call them and say, “Mom, Scott wont let me be Mario”. I use to hate that., but you would eventually get your way, and by the way I forgive you for the vicious attacks you brought upon me with solid objects including, one curling iron heated to a cool 350 degrees which took off all layers of skin on my left arm., I think the scar is finally gone, how about the 7 iron to the back of my head, or the tennis racket to the spine. I wonder why I have problems. Through all that I never laid a finger on you because I loved you and was scared to death of dad, but I did get you back when I use to hit your toes with my knuckles. That was my only revenge. Anyways back to the games, my favorite was when we use to lay in each others beds and guess what we were writing on each others back. We had the only front yard in the neighborhood with no grass because we used it as a soccer field, football field and a baseball diamond. We would play outside all day, with mom hitting us grounders, we were peppering with your volleyball or you would watch me kick my soccer ball endlessly against the wall. You thought as we got into high school I was mean and didn’t want you around me and my friends but let me tell you a little secret it was them that I didn’t want around you., I am protective over you, you are my little sister and lets face it your beauty is breathtaking (did I mention people say we look alike) As long as I can remember people have been drawn to you for so many different reasons, Im not sure if it was your beauty, charisma, welcoming smile or everyone was intrigued because they had to look up to you, im just kidding you weren’t that tall. Speaking of tall is that why you could buy an alcoholic beverage at the age of 15. I still get carded for R movies. I think it is your gentle brown eyes, kind heart, quick wit, and sharp tongue. I could sit here forever talking about your qualities but you know them as well as I do and so do the people in this church that’s why they are here. Look at how much you accomplished. I am so proud of you. You were a volleyball and softball stud in high school and competitively. You had college offers in both sports, that is amazing. You played two years at GCC and made 1st team all region both years not to mention the records you set while you were there. You signed at Auburn but chose to give up your college dreams and stay when mom had been diagnosed with her cancer in 2000 because you knew she needed you. I think that was a loving, noble thing to do. Im glad you stayed I never told you but I didn’t want you to leave either. Not soon after that you met your hubby at Country Thunder and got married later that year, by the way hes not a bad guy, I think you did good, you have 3 beautiful children who are blessed they were able to know you and call you mom. And I know how much you love them. This is the hard part. I want to talk about our relationship lately and clear up some things. As we get older and we have families we get into ruts and become complacent with the day to day grind of life. We might not talk as much as I would of liked but that doesn’t mean everyday your not on my mind or that I love you any less because all I have for you kimmy is LOVE. I have so many wonderful memories with you its hard to recall all of them. When you were diagnosed with your cancer in October I couldn’t believe it, when they said it was stage 4 colon cancer I did my research on the internet as did everybody that knew or followed your blog I am going to admit I was in denial. NO way could this happen to my sister a 29 year old woman as healthy and athletic as you. I asked God everyday why he would do this to you to our family, your family. I never received an answer for that. You went from Mayo to Banner Estrella and finally to Cancer Treatment Center of American. In all of your trips and stays at these hospitals and through all your scans, procedures, chemo and frequent bad news you always had a positive attitude and a smile that kept me strong. You had good days and bad days, I knew it was a good day when I could tickle your swollen feet and you couldn’t hit me so you would just yell at me to stop or throw a brush at me and hit your own foot, ouch that had to hurt. You never lost your sense of humor either. You would give us the middle finger from time to time and I knew when I saw that you were feeling pretty good. Every time I saw you, well not every time but most the time, I would give you a hug and wait a minute before I came back up to make eye contact because I didn’t want you to see me cry so I could be strong for you. When you would see me you would always comfort me and tell me everything is going to be ok, why are you crying? I am going to beat this. Those were the words you always used. I am so amazed at your strength and courage, These last 9-10 months you have become my hero. The fact I can say I am your brother is a privilege and an honor. I cherish all the time I was able to spend with you and one day stands out for me. It was last Tuesday and your pet scan was moved back a few hours so you had them bring me and Danny back to see you and we talked for about an hour and that was the last time we talked and will never forget that conversation, A very special moment for me was when Cher cleared everyone out of your room and I was able to talk to you just you and me. Although you weren’t able to talk back to me, you were squeezing my hand and moaning a little bit but I know you were trying to tell me you loved me and I know you do Kim. We were all there with you until you took your last breath, crying, holding you, I wrote on your arm over and over “I love you” (just like when we were kids) as we let you know it was ok to move on past this world onto your next journey into heaven. The hardest day of my life was watching you in that hospital bed and realizing that would be the last time I would be able to see your beautiful face and hold you or tell you I love you. My little boy (Jenner) will not be able to meet you, but hes going to hear about you and all the good times we shared and he too will love his Aunt Kim. Words can not describe how my heart aches I will no longer be able to pick up the phone and call you or see that face you use to make to me that cracked me up, you know the one. I will never hear the words “Hey Buggy” out of your mouth anymore. I never imagined I would lose you this early in life. One thing that gives me comfort is that you are pain free now and I know you left us when you were ready to go. You fought so hard in the face of adversity and you were right, you did beat it Kim. You are cancer free in heaven with God watching over us, you are our angel. Now I want to let you know how much you were loved as if you already didn’t know. Mom and Dad loved you sooo much and you were sooo close and I am happy you were able to experience that. They would have done anything for you and so would I. Deron and the kids adored you as did our entire family not to mention all of your friends. I want to say to my mom and dad I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart for the loss of your daughter. My heart breaks for you, now having my own family it would absolutely destroy me to lose one of my girls. If there was anything I could do to take your pain away right now no matter how great the measure I would do it. I know there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel right now, but with time it will get easier. Remember, I love you two I am here for you both. I know this is going to be difficult for everyone but as long as we have each other we will make it through. She is still here in our memories and will always be forever alive in our hearts. Pickle puss I love you so much and I miss you even more but I know I will see you again in a better place. Say hi to Nana, Grandpa Al, Grandma Anne, Keith, Smitty, and Uncle Mike, I would like to thank some very special people at this time for their support, love and selflessness during this time of hardship and sorrow, and if I forget someone please forgive me. First, I would like to thank Mike, Karrie, Kathy, Kirby, Mitch, Lisa, Tracy, Kristen, Eli, Daniel, Justin, Jake, Jesse, Michael, Kandus, Kohl, Megan and Mackenzie, we are so lucky to have you as our family, and I love you all!!! To all of Kims friends that have been there through this time Natalie, Becky, Erin, Laura, Randi, Sammy, Mary,Sherri and Vinnie. Also I would like to thank my friends for supporting me, even those who never had the pleasure to meet Kim, they knew her thru me and were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Last but not least, I would like to thank my beautiful wife Cher, you are my rock and I love you. I have two things I hope you can take away from this. First, please take the time and make the effort to let the people you love know you love them, don’t take life for granted, no ones time is guaranteed on this earth. Tomorrow is a gift, make the time today. Colon cancer is becoming more prevalent in the younger society; please get checked it’s what Kim would want you to do. Thank you and God Bless

Butterflies and Balloons

This past Sat the 26th was Kims 30th birthday. We had a car wash fundraiser that raised over 2000, there were a ton of people there helping it was really nice to see everyone gather and work so hard for a family. After the car wash we went to the grave site and let off a LOT of balloons it was so pretty to see them fly up up and away..then we hurried back to Derons to eat and celebrate. It turned out to be a really nice day for family and friends to get together to celebrate Kims life.
SCOTTS LETTER TO KIM
Ok, I have heard there have been alot of questions over Scotts letter to his sister. So let me clear this up. He has been asked to post it, but right now he just feels like it was ment for Kim (even though tons of people heard it at the funeral) he said it doesnt mean the letter wont ever go up just not RIGHT now. This is all still very fresh and he needs his time to heal, But as soon as he is ready I will post it, because it really is very special and beautiful. Love always Cher

Troupe tryouts

Well I am a proud mama and happy to say Jaden made "Performance troupe" she is so excited for this new stage and we couldnt be any happier for her. Plus the new dance schedule for us is really nice only Tues and Wed..YEAHHH for us!!!

Mornings with Landyn

I dont know how other children are, but let me tell you Landyn gives me a run for my money every morning for school. Here is our morning in a nut shell. I wake her up at 7am (which by my standards are pretty good for school time) I go into her room and rub her back for a minute and whisper that its time to get up. She turns over throws the covers over her head and tells me she doesnt like school and doesnt want to go anymore. I give her the whole speech you have to go to school I did it Daddy did it and so on. I go to the bathroom and turn on the bathtub water, about this time she comes in crying and asking my if she could just skip this day and she will go to tomorrows day of school pretty please, I just ignore all of this and keep moving her along. As she is in the tub she makes sure every body part is washed to her liking (which could be two or three times over, but hey she is clean) and then we focus on her hair, thats a whole other story. Now remember the water is never right, its always too hot or tooo cold, which takes up a few more minuets of our morning. I get her out of the tub and get her dried off, which again its too cold and she is never DRY enough,or the towel is never the RIGHT towel, Never big enough..so on and so on. I distract her meltdown, by having her go pick out her panties (I cannot pick them out, she never likes my choices) then we start on what we are going to wear for the day. Now this is where I start to loose my patience. It can take 15 min or more, just deciding what she wants to wear. We have even tried getting them out the night before..somehow my sweet Landyn that goes to bed and will wear anything I pick out transforms to evil Landyn and it all goes out the door. Then we go down stairs for hair, brushing teeth, and eating breakfast. Landyn and her HAIR..I have never seen a kid so worried about how her hair is going to look. With Jaden I could do the cutest hairstyles, she didnt care..but not with Landyn she wants a play by play and even pictures before I even touch her. We really sit and talk about how her hair is going to look and believe me she vetos most of my ideas..she really like the braids with NO ponies thing right now. Next comes the shoe issue..along with the HAIR this could have its own chapter. Enough said. Now I dont know about any of you , but sending my kids off without breakfast just doesnt seem right. (plus Landyn might tell her teacher that I didnt feed her) even though neither of them eat anything in the morning..I might get Landyn to take maybe 2 bites from a bagel or a VERY VERY small bowl of cereal, which she never finishes, but it still makes me feel better to at least have tried, and by this time of the morning I am pooped. Some days I thank God for Jaden, because she is so good about deflecting Landyns issues, but it all is better when she goes to run out the door, but turns to come back because she needs to kiss me good bye.

How to start?? Things have been pretty busy and on the other hand kinda not, so I really havent had very many excuses for not blogging other than maybe facebook! Sept has flown by and I cant wait for the FALL season, Im usually a summer girl, but with this extra baggage on board Im enjoying any cool moments. I am now 23 weeks along..baby Jenner is moving so much, but Im happy to know he is strong and doing well even if it does keep me awake. I ended up in the ER last Sunday morning with pain in my stomach and back, I was worried about Jenner being ok (which he was) come to find out it was a UTI my first and hopefully my last, but from what I understand a lot of pregnant women get them, No thank you!!! Jaden had troupe try outs last Sat and she will find out today the results..she was so excited this morning..waiting 4 days is a long time for her. Scott also worked his FIRST overtime shift, we are so silly but it seems to be awful for both of us, he came home this morning (from being gone 2 days) and said he even got butterflies in his stomach when he saw me..so sweet!! l-Lets just hope he still gets them 20 years from now. LOL I know... I know... how pathetic but we are so used to being together all the time that one extra day away is agony, and I kinda like him a little bit. Kristen gave birth to Kimber Grace on Sept 18th. She is so beautiful and TINY!! We went over Sunday to celebrate Kristens Birthday (which is the sept 21st) and I just couldnt get enough of her she is so sweet and loves to cuddle. It just makes me want Jenner to come soon, January is so far off. LOL Kims Birthday is this Sat she would have been 30, when I think of me at 30 and how much I have done since age 30 it makes me so sad that her life was cut so short..I guess its never enough time. We are holding a car wash for her and then going to the grave site to send off balloons for her. Scott has his good and bad moments, which is expected, I still dont think its completely hit him yet..he still says he cant believe it. Scotts and his Dad have been spending more time together recently, which Scott cherishes. ..love always
the Gwaltneys

Hi Jessica this post is for you and only YOU, you faithfully read my blog and I love you, but for more than just this reason, theres about 5! LOL Hope you have a good day!!!

Good Friends are hard to come by..we a BLESSED!!

We had a ton of rocks delivered last week, and Scott had planned on getting it all spread out in the backyard, but with Kims passing the rocks could and would wait. Well Scott got a phone call a couple of days ago from his good friend Austin (they work on the fire dept together) that he would be here Monday morning with about 8 to 10 guys to take care of it for him, and anything else we may have needed. It really touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes as Scott told me what they had planned. I know we have the best group of love and support that anyone could ever have. Well instead of sitting here blogging about it, Im going to grab a cup of coffee and enjoy watching a bunch of cute sweaty firemen moving rock in my backyard! Wonder if they will notice me taking pictures!! LOL

Kim Miller Gwaltney

This morning Scott and I sit here with heavy hearts. Yesterday we lost Kim, she fought long and hard against her battle with colon cancer stage 4. She is one of the strongest women I will ever know. She never lost her faith, she said she was going to beat it and she did, she is cancer free and watching over her family. There will be many sad days, but we need to remember all the good times that we shared with her. We Gwaltneys are strong, and are so lucky to have the support and love of all of our friends and family. Kim story touched so many people, and If Kim can safe one person by getting a colonoscopy then I know she would be happy. You are a beautiful angel now pickle puss, please watch over us and we love you!!

party time

Today we went to Ki ki's 6th birthday, it was bittersweet..nice to be able to go to her birthday party, but with Kim still in the hospital it just wasn't the same without her. Hopefully she will get to come home very soon, she is very strong, and has a wonderful attitude and very determined to kick cancers butt and if anyone can I know SHE can!! There were so many wonderful friends there who all pitched in to make this day special for Ki Ki. Jaden and Landyn also received some really neat presents from Aunt Karrie and Aunt Kathy for their birthdays..Thanks so much I know the girls really appreciate it!! I really wish I had pictures but I walked out the door without my camera.

The new playset!!

Doesnt this make you want to be a kid again? Scott has been working on our back yard for over a week now, putting down the ground cover to make it safe and nice and pretty for the girls. Hopefully it will go up this weekend and the girls can start playing!

Back to School!!

Landyns first day of school (notice the big girl back-pack) she picked it out all by herself!!

Scott and Jaden the first day of 6th grade

Landyns first day of kindergarten..she is so excited!

Jaden and Madisen BFF'S forever

Jaden and Landyn

Looking too cool for school

Well school has finally started. I dont know who was more excited us or the girls! I have to admit I shed a couple tears and got choked up a couple times, she was such a big girl..She walked right in to class and walked up to the teacher and said "I am 5 now" I didnt think I would be so emotional it must be the hormones. So far Scott and I have not taken advantage of the nice days with no kiddos (before we pop out the next one) but isnt that what got us in this predicament in the first place.

Am I past this stage?

I was so proud of myself went 4 whole days without vomiting. I thought I was done with the whole morning sickness stage, but last night baby let me know that he/she was still in charge, it was not pretty, but I just keep telling myself..its all good!! Today is also my Birthday 38 WOW. I dont feel a day over 25. I guess thats the important part! Scott is making me a wonderful birthday breakfast and Jaden made me a beautiful card. Scott has a couple special things planned for me so Im excited to get it all started, Its going to be a GOOD day!!!

Landyn was a little unsure about Pluto

Birthday Ice cream!!

The Scott and Brendon on the Disneyland Firetruck

Chesie and Landyn

Who doesnt LOVE minnie!!

Jaden, Taylor, Landyn and The kenzie at California Adventure

YUMMY!!!

Missy on her 5th birthday!!

The Minis with "Nick" their favorite Dancer

The whole Troupe

Having fun at the Rain Forest Cafe!!

Deanna and Jaden

Fun on Misson Beach

Landyns 5th birthday party....we had a Luau Theme!!

The Kenzie and Landyn

TWINS..crazy!!!

Twins?? Really? Well I guess that would be the reason for my expanding stomach. We found out that one stopped growing at 8 weeks, its called a vanishing twin. My body will absorb the baby that stopped growing and everything will go on as normal. We were also able to see the sex of the baby, but we are waiting till the official one on the 29th of July, just to make sure, 12 weeks is still pretty early to be really sure. Holy cow could anyone imagine ME with two little babies..crazy!!! Scott was able to feel the baby kick for the first time, he was so amazed. We also went to California for the family summer trip..spent a couple days on Mission beach then headed up to Disneyland where Jaden had her Nationals for dance..the girls had so much fun and got some great experience from some pretty fantastic dancers. Landyn spent her 5th birthday on Huntington Beach. Then the last two days of our trip were saved for California Adventure and Disneyland. Talk about being tired, I couldnt tell you how many times I walked around that park, it was all about the rides this time so I did do alot of waiting and people watching, which I LOVE to do. School is right around the corner, we had to update Landyn on her shots for her to start Kindergarten, which she was NOT happy about. Jaden has to wait till she turns 11, for her next series. Seems like there is always something to do but I wouldnt change anything!!

Making memories

We had a car was to raise money for Jadens Nationals..it was HOT..but sooo much fun.

Even Miss Landyn helped!!

Shelly, Summer and me at the Shout house "girls night out"

A little of this and a little of that!! I have no clue who the guy is in the back, but he looks like he was having fun!!

Jaden and Maddie being "ganster" they dressed up in maddies older brothers clothes

Makenzie and Landyn

Shes a natural

The awards the girls won at competition!

June

KAR competition May 09

Mini Troupe

Jadens New braces..the bottom come in July

Westgate

I know its been a bit since I have posted, its not from lack of things to post, I actually feel really bad so many things have went on in such a short period. Ill post a few pictures. First off everything seems to be fine with "baby" the Doctor did put me on progesterone to help me not miscarry, and we saw a little heartbeat. YEAH!! I have been really tired taking naps daily and nauseous, but still very happy everything is going normal. Scotts sister, Kim was in the hospital again for about a week, www.kimfightscancer.blogspot.com to see more on that, but shes out now and doing better, which makes us happy. She is a fighter!!! The girls dance recital weekend is here 3 shows total, which makes alot of work for ME!! I am so very proud of them, and they are doing what they LOVE to do... I promise to post pictures this week. We are also anxiously awaiting our annual trip to California with the family and also at that same time is Jadens Nationals for dance..so alot to look forward too!! Almost forgot, we now have a new family member Freddie the turtle, Princess is so bent out of shape this turtle is driving her nuts, its so cute!!

and still more "staycation" pics

The girls floating down the lazy river

Landyn loved the water slide..I think she went down it a 100 times

Now the little ones are getting in on the chicken fights!!

The mudd pie eating contest..I think shes wearing more than she ate

Landyn and Mackenzie. One Lesson and they are experts on the floating thing!!

yes more pics

Heather and Jaden

LOSER

The gang

Chicken fights anyone??